Friday, September 11, 2009

Hard to Explain


Yesterday my grandpa passed away at the age of 87. That may seem old to some people.....but I FULLY plan on living to be at least 100, so to me this seems like his life was cut too short!

In all of the sadness that I am feeling for the loss and the loss that my mom and whole family is having....I am having a VERY hard time explaining all of this to my kids! Collin (almost 3) doesn't really get it, and seems to think that it is very cool that he has wings and can fly and be in heaven.
Kacey, on the other hand....this is tough! She is VERY interested in things and is VERY aware of my feelings! She is VERY in touch with how I feel about anything, and always seems to know the right things to say!

When I first found out yesterday evening she came right up to me after I told them what had happened and said, "It is okay mom, we need to remember the good times we had with Great Grandpa!" I was in SHOCK and was blown away by her ability to say JUST what I needed!

She had NO idea what she was saying or even what death really is......but in that moment she was so grown up and had the ability to just say the PERFECT thing!


We have been laying low today and just sitting around the house watching movies. I set out markers and paper in effort to do something fun today! I asked Kacey what she was drawing...and she told me that she was drawing a picture of Great Grandpa and her holding hands and she is going to send it to heaven so that he can "fix up his new home". I assured her that I would make sure that the letter/picture would be delivered and that he would LOVE it!


When she was all done, she broke down crying and told me how much she misses him. I am at a loss as to how to stay strong enough to give her a positive outlook on all of this and not be scared of death.....ESPECIALLY when she is SOOO in touch with how I feel.......and I am a bit scared too!

8 comments:

Thompson Tales said...

So sorry to hear about your Grandpa, Katie...I will say a prayer for you and your family. Any loss is so hard, just know that I am thinking of you.

A.Love said...

katie....i'm at a loss for words. i am holding back tears of my own. i don't know how you will do this--guide you children through this and be able to feel it all yourself--i imagine it will mean a lot of moments in a closet hiding away so you can be strong in front of your littles...at least, that's what I would do. I am saying a prayer for you and your loss. You WILL get through this and your children will bring you light in this dark moment just like they already have! All of my love, Allegra

Kasey said...

Oh..I am so sorry for your loss!
sweet drawing....it's special.

Suzy said...

I don't have any advice, but I am sorry for your loss. My SO just lost his Grandad yesterday too...

Michelle@Fromhousetohome said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a difficult thing. Sounds like you have a very mature girl on your hands there. You will get through this, together.
~Michelle

Tamstyles said...

My husbands mother died of a heart attack in her 50's and my son was 4 and daughter 7. It was really hard for my son, as he is more of an old soul. He cried many times out of the blue, asked question, and still does to this day. We explained things to them in truth, and when they had questions we answered them honestly. They are sooo smart. My prayers are with you and your family. Time does make things better. I know this to well..

tara said...

oh goodness Katie, I am so sorry for your loss...I can't imagine what you are feeling with your children, I have not had to go through this yet...stay strong sweetie, my thoughts are with you.

Jeanneoli said...

I am so sad for your family. My husband lost his father last year and it truly changed us. It is amazing how children are able to understand things sometimes...when we are at a loss.